I don't think brook has ever known best
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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