Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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