I can text with my tongue
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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