you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
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The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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