YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Operation Purity has been aborted
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
