i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
