just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize