well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
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i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
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She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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