Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
