is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's never too late to be topless.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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