Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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