my sisters under your porch take her home
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You were trust falling into bushes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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