Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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