Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize