so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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