i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
