You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
