Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize