Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
