You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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