I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
