Is it normal to miss your booty call?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
