thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
