I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
