just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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