Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
