The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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