Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
