he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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