He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
