So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
