I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
