I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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