I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
