I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
