do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
