Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
