I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize