my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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