we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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