i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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