The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
