Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
