Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
