I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
barbara walters just said penis...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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