3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
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You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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