My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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