this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
