Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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