Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
