If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
