So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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