WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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