Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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