im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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