3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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