The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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