You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
