2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
