I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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