i was rollin on her like bob the builder
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
