I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
