If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
